Day After
January 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Rock is not functioning well for the past week. She grieved for Stephen and her emotions are not on the up-beat. Her walking is poor, find difficulty in lifting her affected leg hence a bit of a drag on that side. Her affected arm also pulls-in quite a bit and the degree of stiffness also quite high.
One thing I learned as a caregiver is that whenever a strokee feels emotionally down, her physical is also affected. On top of it, rock spends a lot of time sleeping and perhaps brooding over what has happened for the past couple of days. I can empathize with her and have to be kind and considerate in view of the circumstances.
Even well meaning relatives who dropped in to take us out for dinner was declined. A strokee gets tense whenever he or she goes into a new environment and especially so when there is a crowd. They are very self-conscious. As I have mentioned before, to show sympathy is easy but to understand is not so easy. A couple of times I have heard from relatives saying that she must learn to get used to crowds. Yes, of course they are right but time is the essence. Slowly but surely, with a lot of encouragement, a strokee will overcome this anxiety with crowds and the stares of people.
To those who have stroke survivors in their families, I advise them to be extra kind, patient and try to understand the emotions of a stroke survivor. We must try to understand from their perspective and not from ours who are able bodied and strong.
Stephen Loo
January 13, 2007 | 4 Comments
Haven’t been blogging since last Friday due to poor health. Recovered on Tuesday morning but on Wednesday evening, received heart breaking news of the passing away of a beloved nephew of Rock. His name was Stephen Loo in his twenties! The various families were in such state of shock that for three days nothing seemed to comfort our pain over the demise of Stephen.
Stephen was a handsome, loving, caring person. Everyone in the family loves him. My heart goes out especially to his mother, Florence who is Rock’s sister who just a year ago experienced the pain of the passing away of her beloved husband Philip Loo and now this! Who is sufficient to accept all these just depending on one’s frail humanity!
But we all Praise our Lord Jesus Christ for His Comfort and Peace in our hearts that Stephen and Philip are now in a better place! His Words came to us from this passage of Scripture that says it all!
(Jer 31:15) In Ramah a voice is heard, crying and weeping loudly. Rachel mourns for her children and refuses to be comforted, because they are dead. *
(Jer 31:16) But I, the LORD, say to dry your tears. Someday your children will come home from the enemy’s land. Then all you have done for them will be greatly rewarded.
(Jer 31:17) So don’t lose hope. I, the LORD, have spoken.
AMEN.
Caregivers
January 9, 2007 | 4 Comments
Today, I posted a photo of my small family. This photo was taken in January 2006 during my eldest daughter Sharlene’s wedding. Rock is at the centre and Dawn our youngest on her left. At the back is me and our son Justin. Rock had the stroke in late October 2005 and just 2 months later she took a 10 hour flight to Auckland to attend Sharlene’s wedding! What an achievement for a strokee. Justin is working in Auckland and Dawn is doing her drama school in Wellington. Sharlene and her husband Chit are both working in London.
We come from a line of small family units. Each and everyone in my family comprises of 4 -5 persons. Remembered someone said that when we as a married couple produces two offsprings we are only replacing ourselves. In my family we have three children so we contributed one additional to the population growth! Now with the new addition of Chit we have also gained a son.
As a caregiver to Rock, I learned quite a bit about Stroke from a Magazine from the US called Stroke Connection. From one of the issues I came across a beautifully written poem dedicated to caregivers to strokees and I reproduce here for all home caregivers worldwide.
To comfort those who are filled with worry.
Their long days are spent with caring for others -
Husbands, wives, sons, daughters or mothers.
Loved ones with stroke, helplessly stricken,
Or other illness that has made them victims.
Give them some free time; refresh them anew,
Bless and send strength in all that they do.
For each loving person we thank you so much,
For care-giving “angels” with life giving touch.
By Audrey Collins
Stroke Survivor
Hutchinson, Kansas.
Uncertainties in Life
January 8, 2007 | 1 Comment
Last friday was not a good day. Early in the morning, I saw the undertakers came into the street where I live to set-up a funeral. Out of curiosity I followed them to see who passed away in the neighbourhood. To my shock and amazement it was the sweet young lady who visited me and rock some 5 months ago to chat about her first baby expected to be borned this coming March 2007! It was she who passed away from complications in her pregnancy. The first thought after knowing this was the baby! Thank God that the baby is still alive but living in an incubator. I do pray that the baby will be fine eventually.
She was only 30 years old and just got married two years ago, expecting their first child. She came over to enquire from us re-child care since my sister-in-law runs a child-care at home! I felt so very sad that someone who was at the prime of life being taken away and the poor baby is now motherless. In fact both the young couple moved into their new home, just a few months ago. I keep reflecting on life for the past two days and the uncertainties that happen so suddenly that changes our lives forever! Just like when the stroke hit rock! At least rock survived that but still the changes in our lives will be forever!
I remembered an old pop song by Simon & Garfunkel back in the 70’s where a phrase from that song said that ‘death comes in a blinding flash…’ I played that song the morning after my own mother’s funeral and since then it had sort of stuck in my mind forever! Only a few days ago I was blogging on new beginnings and now it encourages us all to really live our life in a more purposeful and meaninful way for in a blinding flash, everything can change.
Rock had a fall
January 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Yesterday, Rock had a fall in the supermarket! She is progressing well with all her physio and exercises and her walking is steady. Rock somehow lacks confidence so although she can walk without her stick but she stretches out her hand for support whenever she sees a wall or table or chair. This is because in her early stages of recovery, she was too eager to walk again and she had quite a few falls. Thank God that she was not hurt or have any broken or fractured bones from those falls!
Yesterday, Rock went marketing for ingredients so that she can cook a sumptious meal for the family. The Physio encourages her to do that, something which she is passionate about i.e. cooking! However when I took my eyes off her a few seconds, the automatic door shuts on her and pushed her off balance and she had a fall. Although there is no apparant damaged to her joints etc, but she complained of pain on her hip joint which is a bit swollen.
I must be more attentive next time, for any fracture, sprains on a stroke survivor will put back the recovery process for weeks because until the damaged part heals then there will be no physio.
I strongly recommend strokees to be very careful during the stroke recovery process to avoid any accidental falls! Although they are keen to walk again but being too impatient and push oneself too far and get injured will not be a positive thing. So go ahead and try to walk but just be very careful to avoid falls!
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