The Walk of Life

We learned of Metamorphosis from our Science Classes in school. Currently, our daughter is rehearsing for a coming play titled "Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka and based on an adaptation for the stage by Stephen Berkoff, with modifications by Chris Jacobs.

Such Plays are way too abstract for me and not sure I could appreciate it. In a gist, the play is about a man who became a dung beetle!

Something more simple would be a story about a little boy who was asked to write an essay on what he would like God to do for him! Here is what the boy wrote.

'Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special.

Make me into a television. I want to take its place and live like the TV in my house.

Have my own special place and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk....

I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions.

I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives even when it is not working.

Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me...

And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me...

I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.

And last but not least, ensure that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like a TV.

If this essay was written by your son, how would you respond?

Time and again I have stated that life and living is about building balanced, meaningful relationships with others. However life experiences also tell us that many heart breaks stem from our own wrong choices of who are our friends or even our life partners.

The many popular Hong Kong and Korean Serials on TV seems to use the above life experiences either as a secondary theme or main theme in their stories. Not surprising these TV Serials are watched by many in Malaysia or perhaps the Overseas Chinese all over the world. They gave a sense of reality in their own life experiences and of course sometimes due to overplay, seems unreal too. However the fact remains that many watched and enjoy them seems to strengthen my conviction in what I mentioned in my opening statement. Even Romantic TV Serials from the West exploited on the same issue although they do it slightly differently in the sense of their own culture and belief systems.

One of my favourite post on human relationships titled “Don’t Cry For Me At My Funeral” which was written by someone who came to understand this foundational basis of having a balanced, meaningful relationship with others as well as with your own family circle.

I posted below some rather interesting observations from life by other people who understand human relationships. Reflecting on them may help us decide which of our many relationships we should give priority to. Well not to say we ignore those who don’t fall within the category but perhaps use our limited time wisely to build on those relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling. Remember also that there are good reasons why certain people don’t get into our current address book!

Having watched more than 20 over soccer matches in the 2010 FIFA World Cup, one question I or every football fan is asking is that how come the famous football stars did so badly? Immediately one thought of Wayne Rooney of England, Messi of Argentina, Ferdinand Torres of Spain and even Ronaldo Christiano of Portugal etc.

The match between Germany and England was a classic match and here we see the challenge of Youthful Energy of the Germans against the Experienced traditional game of England. In life, experience seems to count a lot in the field of business, management etc but as far as modern sports is concerned, youthful exuberance and spirit which translates to speed and power seems to be more effective! Even in Tennis this fact holds true and one's mind comes to Rafael Nadal and the up and coming players in their late teens or early twenties.

Italy the ex-champion was sent packing home in the first round! One can't help to note that most of the Italian players are above 30 years old and were players in the last two previous World Cup! Germany has a relatively young team with many junior players upgraded into the national team and playing in the current World Cup and thus far their performance had been remarkable with high scoring wins to boot.

Recalling the England - Germany match yesterday, I can see how fast the German youths created an attack which left the English defense way behind and as a consequence, England's goal-keeper faced two or three German strikers alone. I can't help but also noticed how the English full backs jogging back to defend whereas the German strikers ran at break-neck pace! Of course we noticed that the English defenders are all in their 30's!

I guess in the world of business speed seems to be an advantage and those who can respond quickly to market changes seem to be on top of the game! Perhaps the world is changing so fast that age old held beliefs such as experience is so very important is being challenged! Life is about continual learning and changing in accordance to time.

How time flies for the seniors! In just a twinkle of the eye, its Father's Day 2010 and I am still keeping the bottle of Wine from last Year's Father's Day! This time, I received another Bottle of Wine from my daughter and son-in-law from London! Thanks dears for the wonderful gift but its the thought that matters most!

My good friend from Hong Kong shared an awesome thought with me which is about a Pair of Hands to remind Fathers on this Father's Day! It goes like this:-

A Father said :

"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?" I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making. Dad smiled and related this story.

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life."

A sweet story indeed. I am reminded of two things on this Father's Day, something which I learned from other Fathers!

One was Abraham in the Torah. One thing he did was to teach his sons especially Issac on "Digging Wells"! Every time the nomadic Abraham moved to a new place, he dug a well and altogether he dug (if I am not mistaken) 7 Wells and each Well has a specific name and a special meaning. Issac his son was with Abraham when he dug these Wells and of course in future, it will be Issac's turn to dig Wells for his family. In Abraham's era, a Well is a very important source for survival. Of course we all know why but the important point to note is the required skills to locate the right place and the know-how to dig!

This reminded me that as Fathers, it is our responsibilities to teach our children how to dig Wells! In modern times it may be guiding and imparting the wisdom and knowledge of life and what you can think of that is relevant. Even in Abraham's time, he had lots of trouble with these Wells! some he faced enemies who tried to destroy the Wells, some he had to negotiate with the local tribes for permission to dig! It is very much like today how we have to fight many battles and worked so hard to have our Wells which are essential for living. Nowadays, I wonder how many fathers really take the time and effort to impart this Well Digging skills to the children?

Another nugget of gold is about being Grateful for the things we have been given! Yes given and not acquired for it is Almighty God who bestows upon us. I am sure many Fathers who, upon returning from a long working trip usually buy some toys or gifts for the family. Do you noticed the excitement in your children when they crowd round you with their eyes focusing on your bag and wondering what's inside for them? When they received their gifts or toys did anyone of them ever asked you about how much trouble you had just to buy them those toys apart from the money aspect of it? No matter how tight was your schedule, you would find time to rush to the store to get those gifts for them.

I am sure it would have brought tears to any Father's eyes if your child stopped and asked whether it was troublesome for you to buy that toy! As kids we cannot hold them to this since they are just children and we cannot expect them of this. However, when we are adults won;'t it be nice if we can express our thanks and gratitude by telling our parents on Mother's Day or Father's Day their appreciation for your sacrifices for them? It will definitely bring tears of joy and satisfaction to hearts of your parents!How about our Heavenly Father?

Yes, taken from a line from one of Elton John's Songs. Not only I love the song but especially this line which is quite true for many people. Indeed 'Sorry' seems to be the hardest word for many, including me. Perhaps pride, ego or we feel justified in doing what we did like that Shoe Thrower at former US President George W. Bush in Iraq just before Barak Obama took over the Presidency.

When we say sorry to someone whom we have hurt by words or deeds, or commonly known as apologizing, there is a right way and a wrong way to apologize. Doing it right leads to reconciliation perhaps because your apology may not be accepted! However barring the acceptance issue, apologizing is never wrong and especially if you are the wrong doer! Of course there could be circumstances when the person you have hurt is no longer alive or you are unable to locate him or her.

Here are some helpful tips on apologizing the right way, tips that I have picked-up from others or articles along my own journey in life :-

1. Do not give justification or excuses for your behaviour.


2. Using the wrong kind of words may lead to more arguments.


3. Not prepared mentally or in a wrong frame of mind.


4. Not prepared to answer the why question in the right manner.


5. Learn how to apologize without defence.


6. Do express how it affects you too.


7. Be prepared that your apology may not be accepted.