Those were the exact words of Steven Rosenthal, stroke survivor for the past 5 years! Steven had a massive stroke on a small part of his brain but that was a very important part of the brain. That damaged part controls comprehension and caused aphasia that is memory lost. He had severe anomia with auditory agnosis of aphasia which in lay man terms meaning having normal output and abnormal input to what you perceive from seeing and hearing.
A person suffering from this hears fine but the brain does not function meaning no processing. I see it like you are entering commands into your computer who takes in the information fine but there is zero output! Thats why Steven uses Computer Crashed to illustrate his condition. Steven was a cardiologist since 1979 until he had that stroke. Two months after his stroke, a world famous neurologist pronounced his case as beyond help.
Steven has gone through 5 years of struggle and to date he has regained a big part of his former life, person, brain which ever way you look at it. As a care-giver myself I can fully empathize with Steven. His cycle of hopelessness, depression, frustration, anger to acceptance and recovery. I believe every stroke survivor goes through that cycle. What makes Steven's case unique and worthy of mention is the determination of he and his care-giver wife Jennifer!
Stroke survivors are the unsung heroes in self-improvements! For you and I who are normal or having an undamaged brain, improving ourselves is a hundred times easier than for a person with brain damaged! We understand what we read but not so stroke survivors! For this reason alone, a stroke survivor faces enormous challenges on their way to recovery as compared to those who are disabled physically where the damaged is not on their brains. No wonder they cry so very often. The loneliness, fear, feeling lost and the sheer effort that make demands on them physically and emotionally and find it so difficult to articulate their internal turmoil.
In closing, listen to what Steven got to say about his recovery. "Am I the same person as before? No, no, no. I am sad, I am mad and I cry. Working around this hole in my brain is the most exhausting work I've ever done. I do not need a perfect brain, just an adjustment to my old one. I did love my first brain. Now I hope to love my new brain just as much."
I hope that by posting about this, I can reach other stroke survivors, care-givers, friends and relatives, to encourage strokees NOT to give up, despite what others, even neuro experts said but by daily consistent step-by-step action and determination, they WILL conquer all obstacles! If you believe in God, pray! For others who are not informed about stroke and its effects, please educate yourselves so that you know how to reduce your risks of having one!