Where are You?

February 26, 2007 | By bokjae | In Life Experiences

Have you ever experienced a life and death situation? I had two and I want to share both of them with you. What made me think of these two life and death situations? Well, the first one happened on the 1^st day of the Chinese New Year 58 years ago!

It happened while my parents were having lunch and I and Ling-ling, the neighbour’s 2 year old were playing in the kitchen. We were both splashing water at each other and somehow I fell into the huge jar of water. During those days, we used to store water in big earthen vessels. Ling-ling was just 2 and could not speak well at all! Somehow it was she who sounded the alarm and I was pulled out of the jar. According to my mom, I was already blue and not breathing and Ling-ling’s mom turned me upside down and applied hard slaps on my back and eventually I vomited out the water and regain consciousness. Till now, I can still remember the process of drowning. I remembered drinking in the water and I did not feel any panic or fear! I guess I was really gasping for air but could only draw in water into my lungs! Also I remember feeling very cold and drowsy.

The second incident was terrifying. I survived a racial riot on the 13^th May 1969. This was one very ugly event that my country tries to forget. I have never feel fear so deeply in my heart. I just went cold in the heart and I ran with all my strength to escape being killed violently. I can still hear the shouting and the sound of foot-steps running behind me. It was chaotic as well as frantic and somehow, I managed to escape back into my flat where I shared with some college-mates.

Unlike the first incident where I felt nothing and remembered very little perhaps because of my young age but the second incident left a deep scar in my heart. It took me many years to finally release my anger, feeling of injustice as well as resentment and bitterness at the perpetrators. Basically I choose to forgive and slowly I can befriend and accept the perpetrators as another fellow countryman again. I know I have forgiven because I married one from them.

During that racial riots in 1969, I was taken to a refugee camp for about a month and I met two Indian boys who were separated from their parents during that few days of madness. I cannot remember their names, except this photo taken in the refugee camp. They should be in their mid-forties by now and hopefully if they see this posting, will try to make contact with me again. Hey can you recognize me from this photo? If you can I am sure they can.

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