Categories of Friends

A buddy of mine, sent me an article on The Power of Gratitude and it was a very good read indeed. Since I was disconnected from the internet for about a week, I did some reflecting on what I have learned from that article. Then maezy another good friend, sent me something on appreciating your friends which was really an eye-opener and would like to share that here.

Friends generally come in three categories. Some come into your life for a Lifetime, some for a Season and they disappear, some just drop-in for a Reason. I remembered missing a very good friend (PC) and spiritual mentor and when he migrated to Canada, initially I felt betrayed, a bit of anger and disappointment then. Do you have a similar experience? The saying that it is hard to say good-bye is so true.

Through the years as I matured emotionally, I begin to understand, these three categories and it was liberating to say the least. I realized now that if we understand which category our friends come under, it will grant us the understanding on how to relate to them and enjoy our relationship to the fullest. Our good-byes will be sweet, unforgettable and fills our hearts with such gratitude for the friendship.

Those that come into your life and stay for a lifetime are usually the ones we grew up with right from primary school to college. They are there whether it rains or shines and they are there at your wedding, anniversaries etc. They are your continuous source of encouragement, enjoyment and till death do us part sort of friends.

Then there are those who come into your life for a season, where now it is your turn to share, to grow with or learn. They bring you an experience of tranquility or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy and happiness. But they are there only for a season.

I am sure many of you do have friends who just come into your life for a reason. Be it some sort of ‘angel-like’ person who was with you through a difficult patch in your life, giving you support, guidance, a sweet and warm friendship. Then suddenly they disappear either due to circumstances, relocation, migration etc and that’s the end of that relationship apart from the occasional emails or letters, like PC. What we must realize is that our need has been met and their role completed and now it is time to move on.

All these three categories of relationships are the building blocks of a solid emotional foundation. I believe that it is our unction to accept the lessons, appreciate and be grateful for that person’s impact in our lives and propagate this friendship to all those who come into our lives afterwards.

Lastly, I must mentioned another category of friends who are like “spirits” for they suddenly come into your life, into the privacy of your own room. You may never meet them physically the rest of your days. They are the Bloggers! I was so touched by one who, even on holiday remembered me and a few others, ‘carved’ my name with corals under the clear waters of the sea! Such are the simple pleasures and joy of friendships that come into our lives.

All that I can say, with gratitude is “Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.”


Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Technorati
  • Google
  • StumbleUpon
  • Sphinn
  • Bumpzee
  • Furl
  • BlogMemes
  • Pownce
  • Spurl
  • Slashdot
  • Reddit

4 Responses to “Categories of Friends”

  1. Trinity on October 30th, 2007 12:39 am

    Dear Uncle Bok Jae, here comes the ’spirits’ to your blog…! LOL
    So glad to have you back, as I was really worried by your disappearance!

    I hope we can be a lifetime friend!

    Trinity from Rooms of
    My Heart

  2. Vivienne Quek on October 31st, 2007 5:12 pm

    Some friends are for life, some are just passing by …

    Nice to have you back again. :)

  3. bokjae on November 1st, 2007 12:04 am

    Hey trinity,so glad to see you here! Thanks for the holiday gift, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness!

  4. bokjae on November 1st, 2007 12:05 am

    Good morning vivienne! You are such an encouraging friend! Thanks!

Got something to say?